11/18/2013

The Most Beautiful Actors I've Ever Seen

So here I am again, listing down some of the gorgeous actors for all you pervs to see. I narrowed it down to 10; I don't know why, but I just did. And no, there's no Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, or Channing Tatum on this list.

So here they are, the guys you girls and gays might go crazy for. (In alphabetical order.)


Alec Baldwin



AKA: Alexander Rae Baldwin III
Born: April 3, 1958 in Amityville, New York, USA


L: Alec and his chest hair.
R: Alec, circa '80s.


Possible love child: Ryan Gosling

A childhood celebrity crush of mine, my fave Baldwin brotha has those hypnotic eyes that could take thy panties off in an instant (figuratively and maybe literally). Watching him in The Hunt for Red October is like undressing a marine officer with your eyes.


Alec as a baby (circa '90s).


Such a refined-looking guy (when he doesn't show his chest hair), Alec was the sexiest Jack Ryan in the Jack Ryan movies. You pervy peeps might wanna check him out in Prelude to a KissThe Shadow, and 1994's The Getaway.



Helmut Berger



AKA: Helmut Steinberger
Born: May 29, 1944 in Bad Ischl, Austria


Lady Helmut as Dorian Gray.


Possible love child: Jude Law

Ah! The bitchy Berger. Probably the most effeminate-looking guy on this list, this fairy's beauty was especially radiant during the pinnacle of his career (late '60s-mid'70s). Appearing in movies like The DamnedLudwig, and Dorian Gray, a young (take note: young) Berger displayed both natural elegance and subtle rebellion in his performances — a balance that filmmaker Luchino Visconti adored so much that he made him his boy toy.



Matt Bomer



AKA: Matthew Staton Bomer
Born: October 11, 1977 in Spring, Texas, USA


(Flamin' Matt thinking about his fave color.)


The ladies love him. Fairies emulate him. Well, what's not to love about this guy's beauty? Yeah. I, too, don't know the answer. I'm too lazy to write as of the moment, so just pleasure yourself by looking at his piercing crystal blue eyes, highlighted by his dark brows.



Marlon Brando



AKA: Marlon Brando, Jr. (1924-2004)




Possible love children: Billy Zane and Jesse Bradford

Yet another gay icon, Brando had that brawny and cocky presence that could either annoy you or entice you. Argh. I'm still too lazy to blabber, so just help yourself and indulge in his beauty.



Montgomery Clift



AKA: Edward Montgomery Clift (1920-1966)




Possible love child: Tom Cruise

Marlon's boy friend (Clift and Brando were both from Omaha), the tragic Monty was one of the most handsome lover boys during the '50s. He appeared with girl friend Liz Taylor in films like A Place in the Sun and Raintree County. Before the car accident, he possessed a beauty like that of a young (and "innocent") Tom Cruise: deep-set eyes, dark brows, and a perfect profile.



Gary Cooper



AKA: Frank James Cooper (1901-1961)




A quintessential leading man, Gary had that let-me-please-you-milady aura in him. A quiet storm during a sunny day. (I have no idea what the f*ck I just said, so just figure out what "a quiet storm during a sunny day" means.) From the silent era to the Audrey Hepburn era (yes, there is such an era), he never failed to be sexy without even trying; if he could return from the dead, you boys might want to ask him how he did it.



Eduardo Noriega



AKA: Eduardo Noriega G√≥mez
Born: August 1, 1973 in Santander, Cantabria, Spain




Possible love child: John Lloyd Cruz (kinda)

Think: A prettier Dave Grohl. Forget Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky. Just check out Eduardo in the film's original version (Abre los ojos). Eduardo's intimacy-is-the-best-policy eyes and boyish face are swoon-worthy. Yes, I think they are. *Faints.*



Al Pacino


AKA: Alfredo James Pacino
Born: April 25, 1940 in New York City, New York, USA




Possible love child: Robert Downey, Jr.

(The young) Al Pacino is the embodiment of the (not so) tall, dark, and handsome mindset. With penetrating, big brown eyes, Al has that enigmatic aura in him; it is something that can make ladies (and ladies at heart) "come" home and watch films like The Godfather and The Godfather II.


Fredo, you're my older brother, and I love you.
But your hairline is very distracting.



Ian Somerhalder



AKA: Ian Joseph Somerhalder
Born: December 8, 1978 in Covington, Louisiana, USA


"Bitch, I'm fabulous."

Calm thy ovaries, ladies.
Keep that flaccid, f*gs.
Hold your horses,
And just relax.

His beauty can suck your sanity out of you. Just look at those f*cking blue eyes. Rosie O'Donnell has a man crush on him, describing him as "a young Rob Lowe." But even Rob Lowe might get a hard-on upon seeing this dude. This guy's probably more than beautiful. Period.



Russell Wong



AKA: Russell Girard Wong
Born: March 1, 1963 in Troy, New York, USA

Finally, a manly man to kick the a** of those girly boys above. This former dancer first came to my attention when he appeared as the bad guy in The Joy Luck Club — bad in a naughty way, that is. (The watermelon scene is a must-see for all you horny creatures out there.) His beauty went to the maximum when he played the seductive angel Danyael in The Prophecy II, a direct-to-video crapfest.




With a body that could wet your dry heart, as well as a pair of lips that screams "make out," Russell combines ruggedness with pure sensuality — a combo that can turn a full-on straight guy into a kinky schoolgirl. Check out his works (start with Vanishing Son) and you'll see why he is more than just "a poor man's Keanu Reeves." (Russell is biracial: Dutch-French mom and Chinese dad).


Russell in The Prophecy II



EDIT:

Jon-Erik Hexum


AKA: Jon Eric Hexum (1957-1984)

Oh yes. How could I forget? And why did I even bother editing this blurb and stretching the list to 11? Well, just look at the guy. Those eyes. That voice. (Never liked his beefcake body though.)





Maybe the reason why I forgot to include him is that his career was short and he's not that known internationally. The model-turned-actor appeared in TV shows Voyagers! and Cover Up before accidentally shooting himself with a .44 Magnum handgun. He was 26.






DISCLAIMER: No copyright infringement intended. I don't own or claim to own any of the photos used.



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